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| You ever worry about a parent? I find this isn't a common feeling for people my age. Parents spend most of their time worring about us. Just resently I have been freighten of the direction my mom's health has been taking. It all started with a histerectomy about 5 years ago. She was a few months shy of having full blow cancer in her uterus. The doctor even called her "Ms. Lucky". About a year ago she had gang green in her gall bladder and had to have it removed. Then just a few months ago she had an abnormal pap smear. Had to have surgery inside of her cervix. Now she has a whole in her retna. Which doesn't really coinside with everything else. But it is still just one more thing. My mom is the most important person in my life. Everyone keeps telling me these procedures are standard and they happen to many women. I understand this. But all these things happening just makes me think. What happens when she gets something life threatening? I am scared that one day I will wake up and my mom won't be there. My mom is older than most mothers having me at 33. I don't want her to miss out on what my grandparents missed out on me. I want my parents to see my kids walk down the aisle of graduation, and down the aisle at their wedding. I want my mom and dad to expierence everything family offers, including the small thing of grandchildren. I hope that my xanga entry tonight will reach up as a prayer to God. And that my hopes will come true, and my mom's health will become better. | | |
| WOW. In just a few weeks I will be moving out of this bean can, which I have come to love as a second home. This year has been such a big move for me. I have grown so much as an individual. I learned how to do a lot of things by myself. Its ooober wierd I am actually becoming an adult. I have met some great people, that I learned so much from. It really made me step out of my box and accept more people in their great qualities. It was hard to think that just this time a year ago, I was graduating from high school. It seems like forever ago. I had many expectations, some didn't go through. But probably the one I am most upset about is not having met a special person and being in a relationship. It is hard that all my close friends have met someone special and taking that next step.. which is what I am discovering college is apparently about... finding your mate for life. It seems that "your no one unless you have someone" (My favorite character Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City once said). I don't plan on giving up hope, but I came to college to get my B.A. not my degree in Mrs._____. I guess you have to REALLY want and be looking for a significant other to have one. I think time will help. I am just NEVER one to be left behind when it comes to making steps in life. | | |
| AXO formal.. need I say more? ok ok.. i will. The whole night was amazing. Connor and I started out prepartying at one of my sister's boyfriend's house. Good times. Ummm coconut rum! Then we went to the bus stop to go to the dance. Everyone (including the sober monitors were drunk) but it was all cool. No one was out of line. The bus ride sucked. I never had to pee so bad in my life... damn muncie pot holes. They didn't help the bladder. Then we had Fizolies.. yum. Then Connor and I hit the dance floor. We rocked the joint! Didn't stop the whole night and we were the best dancers...o yeah! Even swing dancin... gotta love a boy that gots the moves. I am hurtin today. LOL. Then we got back and partyed a bit more. Tracy and I got Taco Bell... it was amazing.. who knew you could spend between 2 people 8 dollars! Should have went to wendy's... 99 cent menu.. o well. Now I am visiting my mom in Columbus for her award and speech she is giving for her association. It has been a great weekend. Back to the real world tom. | | |
| Looking forward to this weekend... its going to be awesome. O and some of my best friends from high school are throwing this HUGE party the 22. I am so siked, because I am bringing 3 of my sorority sisters home. I hope the boys behave themselves..LOL. There is just something I can't get out of my head. You know that person? The one where everytime you see them their smile makes you smile, and their eyes melt you on contact? I have a big crush. When everytime I see this person my heat jumps and my stomach gets butterflies. And I wonder what he is doing when I am not around. How do you cure this disease? I need some medial attention for this! | | |
| WOW. Haven't updated the xanga in awhile. Everyone prolly thinks I am still in bitch mood. Things are kinda lookin up. I am going to formal with an awesome guy. And get this.. he likes to dance. WHAT A RAREITY! JK LOL. School is becoming an overload but I will try to control my stress. So much to do. So little time. Now is not the time to procrastinate! I am looking forward to my summer. The bean can of a dorm room is getting smaller. And I have missed home more lately, which I thought would never happen. Maybe mom is easin up... it makes me want it more. Plus it would be nice not to worry about school for awhile. But its time to get back to the books. Peace out. | | |
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